Fifty Shades of Phoebe Grey
by jessalyn78
Summary: The drama-filled of 18 year-old Phoebe Grey. How will Christian and Ana react when Phoebe gets herself caught in the middle of a scandalous affair with an older man? ON INDEFINITE HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

"I am so proud of you" my father says softly as he pulls me into a hug.

"Thanks dad" I respond with a smile.

"You did so good baby girl" my mom adds, pulling me into another hug.

"You really did do a wonderful job" my brother Ted chimes in as he pats me on the arm. "Who would of thought? My sister- the Valedictorian."

"Don't get used to it" my younger brother chimes in. "You won't be hearing a speech from me next year when I graduate."

"Well Sebastian, maybe if you applied yourself…"

"I still would never be as smart as my gorgeous older sister."

"Wow" my mother interjects. "Why is he sucking up to you so much?"

"He wants me to set him up with my friend Trina" I explain. "Even though I've told him and told him that she has a boyfriend" I add glaring at him.

"Can't blame a boy for trying" my father chuckles.

"I suppose not" I smile. This is really nice. The whole family together. And they're all here to see _me._ They're all proud of _me._ If only they knew… God, I feel like a scumbug.

"I have to go to the bathroom" I say nervously. "Excuse me?"

"Is everything all right?" my mom asks.

"Yeah" I smile "of course."

When I finally break free from the crowd, I take a deep breath. Goodness, I felt like I was going to suffocate for a minute there.

"Congratulations" I hear a familiar voice say as I'm quickly pulled into yet another hug.

"Howard, do you really think this is a good idea?" I whisper as I pull back.

"Oh Phoebe, don't be paranoid" he laughs. "To anyone else this would look like a teacher congratulating a student."

"Right" I respond as I smooth my gown. "Even so, we don't want to draw suspicion to ourselves."

"You're 18 Phoebe, we aren't doing anything wrong" he says, employing his usual argument. "In the eyes of the law you're a consenting adult."

"I'm you're student!" I bite back in a whispered hush.

"Not after today" he smiles. "Even if the whole world found out what's going on between us, there's nothing anyone could do to stop us."

"Right" I scoff. "Do you have any idea what my father would do…"

"I don't want to talk about your father" he interrupts. "You were spectacular up there."

"You had already heard the speech" I smile.

"Yes, but to see you up there with the lights, and everything… You're amazing. You're the most amazing woman I've ever known."

"Thanks" I smile looking down embarrassed.

"I got a room for the night" he whispers seductively.

"I don't think I could sneak away tonight" I respond.

"Just bribe the guard again."

"My family will notice. I graduated tonight; all eyes are going to be on me…"

"Phoebe?" my father asks eyeing both of us suspiciously. "I thought you were going to the bathroom."

"I did" I reply nervously. "And then Mr. Cheney stopped me to congratulate me."

"And who is Mr. Cheney?"

"He was my English teacher Junior year. He proofread my speech for me."

"Really?" my father asks arching a brow. "Why did you ask him for help? Your mother or I could have helped you."

"I knew that both of you would say you loved whatever I wrote. Mr. Cheney always had a lot of input on my writing so…"

"Your daughter is very talented" Mr. Cheney interrupts. "She's an exceptional girl."

"Yes" my father replies skeptically. "She is."

"Well thank you Mr. Cheney" I say trying to sound as breezy as possible. "But my father and I should probably be leaving now…"

"Yes" my father says wrapping his arm around me protectively. "I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" I ask smiling at him as we walk away.

"Goodbye Phoebe" Howard calls out. "I hope to see you _soon_."

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	2. Chapter 2

"So" I ask as my dad walks me outside the building. "What is the surprise?" He takes me by the shoulders and points me towards a brand new Mercedes Benz with a big red bow tied around it.

"It's yours" he says as he hands me a key.

"Dad" I say shocked. "I- I don't know what to say."

"Just say thank you" he smiles.

"Thank you!" I yell as I wrap my arms around him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, so much!"

"Now, be careful" he warns.

"Of course" I smile back. "Daddy, thank you so much!"

"What?" Ted asks as he joins us in the parking lot. "I didn't get a car when I graduated!"

"Yes Theodore, that's because I spent the money I had reserved to a buy a car for you to bail you out of jail after you drunkenly stole a boat."

"Oh" he replies looking down at the ground. "Never mind- cool car Pheebs."

"Thank you" I smile widely.

"You deserve it" my mom adds as her and Sebastian walk towards us. "My exquisite, beautiful daughter."

"Mom, stop it!" I blush.

"Does this mean I'm getting a car?" Sebastian asks.

"We'll see what happens" my father answers.

"Hey, maybe I could come with you, you know if you and Trina ever go out together in your new car."

"Give it up" I say as I roll my eyes.

"We have another surprise for you at home!" my mother announces.

"Really?" I ask "another one?"

"This is your day Phoebe" my father beams.

"Well if it's anything like this surprise I can't wait to see what it is!"

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"Phoebe!" my Aunt Kate exclaims as she runs towards me. "Aunt Kate, Oh my gosh! This is a great surprise!"

"I'm not the surprise silly! Everyone is here! This is your graduation party!"

"What?" I ask shocked as I make my way into the living room.

"Oh my God!" I gasp. Everyone's here- Grandpa Ray, Grandma Carla, Grandma Grace, Grandpa Carrick, Aunt Mia, Uncle Elliot…

"Congratulations sweetheart" Grandpa Ray say as he pulls me into a hug.

"I've missed you so much" I say choking back tears.

"I get a hug too!" Carla interrupts.

"It's great to see you" I smile. "All of you."

"And for dinner we're having your favorite!" my mother adds happily.

"Pizza?"

"Well, your other favorite… steak!"

"Sounds great mom, thank you!"

"You would not believe how amazing Phoebe's speech was" my dad brags proudly.

"Oh stop it" I blush.

"Seriously, you should do it again for everyone here."

"No!" I shriek. "Good God no, that would be humiliating."

I hear my cellphone in my pocket buzz.

"I'm so sorry" I apologize. "Can I just check this real quick?"

"The Valedictorian may do whatever she pleases" Grandpa Carrick answers before anyone can speak, but I notice my father scowling at me. Something about him has been off lately. I would worry that he's suspicious, but me and Howard have been so careful… there's no way he could know."

"It's just a text from my friend Trina" I lie as I read through it quickly.

_Room 12, Top Hill Motel. I'll be here all night, waiting for you…_

_P.S. That green top you had on earlier looked spectacular on you… wear it ;) _

"What does it say?" Sebastian asks.

"What?" I answer flustered.

"The text… from Trina."

"Oh" I respond. "She's just talking about plans she has with her boyfriend tonight."

"You should tell her to cancel and come over here."

"Yeah" I answer sarcastically. "I'll get right on that. Mom?" I ask desperate to change the subject.

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you need any help?"

"No!" Mrs. Jones yells back. "The guest of honor needs to sit back and enjoy herself."

"Yeah" Aunt Mia says as she pats the spot next to her on the couch. "I haven't talked to you in forever. We _need_ to catch up on girl talk."

"All right" I say as I sit next to her. "What's up?"

"You tell me… do you have a boyfriend?"

"No" I answer quickly. "No, no boyfriend. Not right now anyway."

"She doesn't take her nose out of her books long enough to date" Ted interjects as he rolls his eyes.

"Nothing wrong with that" my dad argues.

I feel so guilty. Desperate to change the subject I search my mind as hard as I can for a new topic of conversation.

"I got into Yale."

"What?" my father gasps. "But I thought…"

"They waitlisted me at first, but I got a letter last week."

"Why didn't you tell us?" my father asks perplexed.

"Because… I'm not sure if I'm going."

"Pheebs, you have to go" Ted says. "It's Yale."

"Well, I have an awful lot keeping me here."

"What?" Ted scoffs.

"My family and friends" I answer defensively.

"Yes" Grace argues. "And we all want what's best for you."

"I guess I'm just not sure of what that is yet" I respond shrugging my shoulders.

"Phoebe should make her own decision about this" my father says in the domineering tone he saves for occasions where he really means something.

"You just don't want your little girl to move away" Ray says winking at him.

"No" he admits. "I don't."

I smile at him. I love my father. I love him so much. I feel so torn up inside. I know what I'm doing with Howard is wrong, I know I need to stop, I know how much it would hurt my father and the rest of my family to find out what's happening. But… I'm drawn to Howard."

"Like a moth to a flame" my subconscious sneers. "You're just asking to get burned."

"Dinner's ready!" my mother announces.

Thank God! Maybe there will be less tension during dinner.

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After dinner I lay on my bed and think. What am I going to do? I know I have to break it off with Howard eventually, but right now? My heart and my body want to be with him. Badly. But then I remember the awful feeling I get every time we've finished making love. I always feel so guilty… So empty. It was the worst the first time. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. It felt so final. Like I had given a piece of myself away that I wasn't ready to lose, and that I could never get back. I cringe when I think about it, and it makes me think I'll never see him again.

Then I remember how sweet he is. How much he complements me- on my mind and my body. How comforting he is when I'm upset. I remember him comforting me after our first time together.

_"Phoebe?" he asks as knocks softly on the bathroom door._

_"Yeah?" I reply sniffling back tears._

_"Come on out of there sweetheart, talk to me."_

_"I'm fine" I lie._

_"Did I hurt you?" he asks urgently._

_"No" I answer. "No, it's nothing like that."_

_"Then what's it like. Come on."_

_I open the door and stare at him with red, puffy eyes._

_"It's just- this was kind of a huge deal."_

_"It was" he agrees nodding. "Were you disappointed?"_

_"No" I answer quickly. "It's just- I feel… I don't know."_

_"Tell me" he says as he places his hand on my arm._

_"Was I good?" I ask nervously._

_"Oh baby, you were magnificent."_

_"Do I look different now?" _

_"Of course not" he chuckles. "You look just as beautiful as you did before."_

_"I- I'm not sure if I want to do this again" I mumble nervously._

_"Why not?"_

_"I just think that maybe I wasn't ready-"_

_"Now why would that be?" he asks._

_"I don't know, maybe I'm not mature enough…"_

_"Phoebe, you are very mature for your age. You are brilliant, and gorgeous, and you carry yourself like a woman. If you didn't, I wouldn't be so attracted to you. Don't sell you sell yourself short."_

_He makes me feel like I can be the woman he sees me as. He makes me feel beautiful, and smart, and all of those other things he says I am. I feel like a different person when I'm with him, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing._

_"Do you want me to take you home?" he asks gently._

_I shake my head._

_"You want to stay?" he asks with a smirk._

_"Yes" I reply softly._

_"Oh Phoebe you are going to be so glad you said that, we are going to have so much fun together._

I decide I'm going to see him tonight. I don't know what's going to happen, or quite frankly who the hell I am anymore, but I know I want to see him. I _have_ to see him.

I pull a hoodie over my head, put a fifty dollar bill in my pocket to give the guard, and unlatch the window but as I start to climb out I'm interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Now Phoebe Grey, where do you think you're going?"

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"Ted" I say nervously. "What are… What are you doing here?"

"Apparently, I'm catching my angelic little sister sneak out her bedroom window."

"Keep your voice down!" I scold.

"What were you going to do, slip the guard a fifty."

I look down embarrassed.

"Seriously" he scoffs. "I invented that! I never imagined that you would… Where are you going anyway?"

"Just to hang out with a few friends" I lie.

"So a party?" he asks.

"Yes" I say pretending that I'm admitting something huge. "I'm going to a party. Are you going to tell mom and dad?"

"Are there going to be drugs at this party?"

"No."

"Drinking?"

"No."

"Boys who might drug your drink…"

"No! Ted, it's just going to be me and Trina and like 5 or 6 other people from our class."

"Then why sneak out?'

"Because-" I snap. "Do you really think mom and dad are going to be cool with me being out until 1:00 AM?"

"No" he answers. "Okay, fine. I won't tell on you. But… "

"But what?"

"Be safe" he says as he hands me a condom.

"Ted!" I yell horrified. "Oh my God!"

"What, I just don't want to be an uncle yet!"

"Goodbye" I snap as I make my way out the window.

"Bye little sis" he teases.

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"You made it" he smiles as he opens the door to the motel room for me.

"Yes" I respond. "But I only have a few hours, like two-"

"There's a lot we can do in two hours" he murmurs into my neck as he pushes my hair back.

I laugh and tilt my head to give him easier access.

"How did you get here?" he asks.

"My father gave me a car!" I explain.

"Really?" he asks. "That's what the surprise was?"

"Yep" I smile.

"That's fantastic, now it will be easier for us to meet up" he responds as he starts to pull on the bottom of my shirt.

"Mmmm" I moan. "It's a beautiful night out tonight."

"It is" he agrees as he pulls my shirt up over my head. "It reminds me of that poem you wrote last year."

I move to kiss him, but am interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who the hell could that be?" I ask nervously.

"Relax Phoebe, it's probably the motel manager or something. I'll get it."

"Okay" I say as I sit on the bed and slip my shoes off.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I hear the person on the other side of the door shout.

Oh my God it's him. But how? How did he know?

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	3. Chapter 3

Oh my God! This isn't happening. This can't be happening!

"Phoebe?" my father asks as he bursts into the room. The look he's giving me kills me. He looks so disappointed, so horrified, so angry… Oh God.

"Put your shirt on Phoebe" he says coldly.

"Dad…"

"Put your fucking shirt on Phoebe!" he barks at me in a voice I've never heard him use… not with me anyway.

I slip my shirt and my shoes back on quickly.

"Come with me Ms. Grey" Taylor says as he takes my hand.

"But…no" I argue.

"It's okay Phoebe" Howard says softly. "I'll be fine."

"I can't leave you here with him like this."

"Phoebe, get in the damn car now!" my father yells.

I stand frozen and look around.

"Come on Ms. Grey" Taylor says as he pulls on my arm.

"Hey!" Howard yells. "You don't need to manhandle her."

"Shut the hell up!" my father yells. He's so angry. He's seething. What is he going to do?

"Don't hurt him" I cry as Taylor takes me by the shoulders and walks me out the door.

"Make sure she stays in the car" he grits through his teeth staring at Taylor.

I finally give in and leave with Taylor.

Through the closed door I hear a loud crash and then the sound of my father yelling. "Just how long have you been fucking my teenage daughter you sick bastard!?"

I can't believe this actually happening. I've feared this for so long.

"Come on" Taylor says softly.

"What is he going to do?" I ask breathlessly.

"Don't worry about that" he says. "Come with me."

How can I not worry about it? My father is about to kill my _boyfriend_? Is Howard my boyfriend? I'm not sure. But, I know I care about him, and I _know _that whatever my father has in store for him isn't going to be pleasant.

"How did you find us?" I ask Taylor sheepishly.

"There's a tracking device in your car" he answers coldly.

"What?" I gasp. "Is that why my father gave me a car, so he could keep tabs on me?"

"There's a tracking device in all the cars your family owns" Taylor responds calmly.

I cross my arms over my chest and slink into my seat. After what feels like an eternity I see my father walk out.

"Take us home Taylor" he says as he sits in the back seat next to me.

"Yes sir" Taylor replies as he starts the car.

I look through the back window of the car at the motel. "What did you do to him?" I ask shakily.

"A hell of a lot less than he deserves" my father sneers.

"What… what happened?"

"Never mind that" he says coldly as he runs his hands through his hair and stares into the distance.

"Dad" I beg. "Talk to me please, say something. What happened in there?"

"I told him if he ever so much as looked at you again I'd blow his life apart, but I just might do that anyway" he snaps.

"Dad-"

"He told me this has been going on for _a year and a half" _he says with disgust in his voice.

I nod my head.

"Sweetheart" he says softly, and it seems like he's choking back tears. "What the hell did he do to you?"

"He didn't do anything_ to_ me. He didn't do anything wrong" I argue.

His face pales and he looks down. "God, that's what I used to say."

"What?" I ask confused. What the hell is he talking about?

"How did this start?" he asks, his anger returning.

"What?"

"How did the son-of-a-bitch get you to sleep with him?" he shouts.

I shrug my shoulders.

"You need to tell me everything Phoebe" he says softly. "Did he seduce you?"

"I'm not really sure how to answer that" I say shakily. "He… he didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to."

"You… you said yesterday that he was your English teacher last year."

I nod.

"How did it get to be more than that? How did he get you alone the first time?"

"Dad" I say as I choke back tears. "Please don't make me do this now."

"Answer the question Phoebe" he barks back.

"I don't know… The first time, he wanted to talk to me about a poem I wrote. We met during lunch time. He said it was really good, he recommended that I try to get it published. And then from there we just started to talk about things…"

"Son of a bitch!" he screams angrily.

"Dad-"

"He targeted you. He took advantage of his position as a teacher. He's going to jail for this!"

"16 is the age of consent in Washington" I say as I stare at my feet.

My father's face drains and he gapes at me. "How do you know that Phoebe?" he asks harshly. "Did he tell you that?"

"Yes" I admit.

"So, he had to talk you into this?"

"No… I- I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Are you going to tell mom?" I ask changing the subject.

"Of course" he snaps.

"Do you have to?" I cry.

"Yes!" he yells. "Phoebe there are certain things we have to do now."

"What does that mean?" I ask, my voice shaking.

My dad looks at me for a moment and his gaze softens. "We're going to get you help Phoebe."

"I don't need help!" I protest.

He gazes at me for a moment as if he's searching deep into his mind. "You don't realize it yet. It's too soon."

"Realize what?" I ask.

"Realize how wrong this was! Realize that you were a victim in this situation."

"No" I whisper. "I wasn't."

There's a long moment of silence and the tension between us builds.

"What's going to happen to Howard?" I ask nervously.

"Well for one thing I'm going to make sure he loses his job and that he never gets another job as a teacher again."

"But Howard loves his job!" I plead.

"Howard used his job to talk my teenage daughter into bed!" he sneers.

"Mr. Grey" Taylor interrupts. "We're here."

Damn it! My father is going to tell my mother about this. Who else is he going to tell? My brothers? My grandparents? Is everyone going to find out about this? Seeing my father's face when he found me sitting in Howard's motel room topless was just about the worst moment of my life, but I just have this nagging feeling like something worse is yet to come.

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	4. Chapter 4

"Thank God" my mother gasps as she wraps me in a tight hug. "What the hell were you thinking sneaking out in the middle of the night like that?"

"I'm sorry" I say as I fight tears.

"Where were you?" she asks softly as she puts her hand on my arm comfortingly.

"Phoebe" my father says sternly. "Go to your room."

"Please" I beg.

"Now!" he shouts. As my mother looks at both of us concerned.

I walk up the stairs, but stop before I get all the way to the top. I need to know what he's saying to her. I sit perfectly still and listen to their conversation.

"Christian, what the hell is going on?" she asks angrily.

"Oh, Ana" he sighs. "I don't know how we let this happen."

"Let what happen?" she replies softly. "What happened Christian?"

"It's too horrible, I can't even say it. I can't believe this happened" he says as he breaks down.

I can't stand this. I can't stand seeing my father like this. Especially knowing that I'm the one who did it to him. God, I feel like such a selfish bitch right now.

"Tell me what happened?" my mother demands, somehow maintaining her comforting tone. "What's going on with our daughter?"

"It's- it's just like Elena" he sobs.

"What?" my mother gasps.

I have no idea what my father is talking about, but apparently what he is saying has some meaning to my mother.

"What happened tonight Christian?"

"I've never been so horrified in my life Ana. Oh, Ana."

"What did you mean it's just like Elena?"

"She was seduced by one of her teachers" he says with disgust in his voice. "It's been going on for a year and a half!"

"What?" my mother gasps. "But, no-"

"The bastard said he wanted to talk to her about a poem she wrote, that's how he got her alone. He got her alone and then he got our little girl to sleep with him. Our _teenager_."

"You caught them about to..." my mom stops before she finishes her sentence.

"Yeah" he says as he takes a deep breath.

"What did you do to him?"

"I roughed him up a little, and threatened him" he admits.

"Well" my mother sighs. "I admire your restraint. I'm not quite sure that I wouldn't have killed him."

"I wanted to" he admits. "I still want to."

"What do we do from here?" my mother says shakily.

"Well, I'm contacting the school board tomorrow. And I'm going to see if there's any dirt I can dig up on him, I'd really like to see the bastard in prison."

"What do we do about Phoebe" my mother asks, her voice breaking. "Have you talked to her, how is she?"

"She's in denial" my father responds. "She still doesn't think there was anything wrong with what he did to her. She has a tough road ahead of her, if anyone knows that it's me."

"I know" my mother says sympathetically.

What the hell are they talking about?

"When someone takes advantage of you like that it damages you deeply, more than you even realize at the time. That's what he did to her. That's what he did to my Phoebe."

I'm not damaged. I'm not. And Howard hasn't done anything to me. Why can't he see that?

"I worked so hard to protect her" he says. "I just never dreamed I'd need to protect her from something like this… I never dreamed that one of our kids would have to find out what this feels like."

"She's been keeping a pretty huge secret from us" my mother says as she takes a deep breath. "She must feel guilty."

"I'm sure she does" my father replies. "That's another thing I never wanted for her."

"Hey" Ted calls out as he walks toward me.

"Shhh" I scold as I walk into my bedroom.

"What happened?" he asks as he follows me.

"Oh Ted!" I cry as I fall into his arms.

"Hey" he says softly. "Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

I sniffle as I pull away from him. "I-I don't want to talk about it."

"Did the 'rents catch you?" he asks sympathetically.

I nod.

"Aw, it's okay Pheebs. I can't even tell you how many times dad caught me sneaking out."

"It was terrible" I sigh.

"What, did he catch you doing something?"

"Yeah" I admit as I look down.

"I thought you said there weren't any drugs or alcohol at this party?" he asks sternly.

"There wasn't- that's not what happened."

"Oh" he responds. "Then what happened?"

"I didn't have a shirt on" I admit embarrassingly.

"What?" he gasps. "I thought this was supposed to be a tame little meet-up with five or six friends, how the hell did you end up topless!?"

"Because I lied" I sigh. "Ted, I'm sorry."

"Lied about what?" he asks concerned.

"I didn't go to a party" I admit as my voice breaks.

"You went to hook up with some guy?" he asks softly.

"Yeah" I reply breathlessly.

"And dad caught you?"

I nod.

"Oh my God, Phoebe that must have been so awkward. I'm so sorry" he says sympathetically as he hugs me again. "But hey, it's okay. I know dad must be pissed, but he'll get over it."

"I'm not so sure" I sigh.

"Did he like try to kill the guy?" he asks.

"No" I answer. "But I was worried there for a minute."

"Sounds brutal, so who is this guy anyway? Do I know him?"

"Yeah" I say softly as I stare at the floor.

"Who is it?" he asks.

"I'm only telling you because you'll probably find out anyway, but you need to promise not to freak" I cry.

"Why would I freak?" he asks. "This guy didn't force you to do anything did he? He didn't hurt you?" he asks as he clenches his fists tightly.

"No" I reply. "It was nothing like that."

"Then who was it?" he asks.

"Mr. Cheney" I admit shakily.

"What?" he gasps. "You're joking, right?"

I shake my head.

"Mr. Cheney, as in Mr. Cheney the English teacher?" he asks angrily.

"Yeah" I answer.

"But Phoebe, that's so fucked up!"

"I know" I shout. "I know, I get it!"

"That son-of-a-bitch!" he yells.

"Ted, calm down" I say as I sit on my bed.

"Calm down?" he scoffs. "You're telling me that you were about to hook up with your English teacher and you want me to calm down!?"

"I wasn't about to… Ted, we had done it before."

"What?" he gasps. "You mean he's… the two of you have…"

"Yeah" I answer sharply.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since the middle of last year" I admit.

"Phoebe" he gasps. "You weren't even 18 then!"

"16 is the age of consent in Washington" I explain.

"You think I give a shit about the age of consent!?" he yells.

"Ted-"

"And you said dad _didn't_ kill the bastard?"

"No" I answer.

"Oh my God" he gasps as he walks out of my room.

"Ted, where do you think you're going?" I ask as I chase after him.

"Where the hell do you think I'm going Phoebe? I'm going to find the man that hurt my little sister!"

"He didn't hurt me" I argue. "Ted, don't do anything stupid!"

"What is going on here?" my father asks running over to us.

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	5. Chapter 5

"You know what's going on!" Ted yells. "You're the one who found her!"

"You told him?" my father asks glancing at me. He can hardly look me in the eye, my God, I've never been so humiliated.

"Yes" I answer. "I told him."

"You're going to let this guy get away with this?" Ted scoffs.

"Of course not!" my father bites back harshly. "Theodore, let me handle this! I'm going to see to it that he pays."

"You better, or I will!" Ted shouts.

"What are you going to do to him?" I ask my father nervously.

"Don't worry about that right now Phoebe, go to your room" he say dismissively.

"Please" I beg. "Please, don't hurt him! I… love him."

"What?" my father gasps, gazing at me with a look I can't quite discern. It looks like a combination of concern and disgust. "No, Phoebe, no!"

"See what this bastard's done to her?" Ted scoffs.

"He hasn't done anything to me" I protest.

"Phoebe, please" my father says harshly. "Go to your room now!"

"Fine" I mutter as I cross my arms over my chest. "Good night."

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I awake early as memories from last night flood my mind. I can't believe this has actually happened. I walk down stairs to get a drink of water, but as I pass by my father's study, I can't resist the urge to go inside and see if I can figure out what his plans for Howard are.

His office is torn up. Papers are everywhere, and a glass lays shattered on the floor. This is so unlike my father, he's so organized. He must have thrown a fit of epic proportions in here. Another rush of guilt surges through me.

I look on my father's desk and my heart stops. He's run a background check on Howard. I shouldn't look. It would be wrong to look. This is Howard's personal information. This is information I was never meant to see. But I'm just so curious. Besides, I can't protect Howard if I don't know what my father is going to do to him. Maybe this will give me some hints.

**HOWARD JAMES CHENEY**

D.O.E:

FEBRUARY 9,1991, CLEVLAND, OH

**AGE:** 39  
**ADDRESS: **25 MAIN STREET,  
SEATTLE, WA 98101  
**MOBILE NO: **360 973 2252  
**SOC SECURITY NO: **953-62-3366  
**BANKING DETAILS: **TRUSTCO BANK, SEATTLE, WA 98101  
ACCT NO: 399922: $5,289.23 BALANCE  
**OCCUPATION: **SECONDARY TEACHER  
**PRIOR EDUCATION: **SEATTLE PUBLIC JR-SR HIGH SCHOOL/ UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON  
**FATHER: **JAMES WILLIAM CHENEY  
DOB: SEPTEMBER 27,1959,  
**MOTHER: **LILIAN JANE CHENEY  
DOB: DECEMBER 16, 1962  
**POLICICAL AFFLIATIONS: **NONE FOUND  
**RELIGIOUS AFFLIATIONS: **NONE FOUND  
**SEXUAL ORIENTATION: **STRAIGHT  
**SPOUSE: **VICTORIA ELIZABETH CHENEY

Spouse? Howard is married? No! No, this must be some sort of mistake. Howard isn't married. He would have told me. If not, I would have found out some other way by now. He never wore a wedding ring, even when we were at school. Could he have been lying to me this whole time?

I sit down in my father's office chair and try to catch my breath. How could this be happening? This can't be happening. This has to be a mistake.

What if my father knew? What if he knew I was going to look at this, and that's why he left it out. He wanted me to see this. This could be totally fake, or at least the spouse part could be.

There's only one way to find out. I have to go to the address on this paper. But how the hell am I going to sneak out? The guard I'm usually able to bribe has undoubtedly been fired since my indiscretion was discovered by my father. But I can't go back to bed with this hanging over my head.

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"Sebastian?" I ask softly as I walk into his room and turn on his light. I know he's the one person in the family who has no idea what's going on, and as guilty as it makes me feel I'm going to take advantage of that.

"What?" he whines as he rolls over. "Phoebe it's 3 in the morning, what the hell do you want?"

"I need help" I say weakly.

"Help with what?" he snaps.

"Distract the guard outside for me?"

"And get in trouble? No. You can do whatever the hell you want, but I'm going back to bed."

"Please" I beg. "I'll- I'll set you up on a date with Trina."

"I thought she had a boyfriend" he says suspiciously.

"Well she doesn't. I lied. I was trying to get you to leave me alone. Now please, please help me!"

"Okay" he answers reluctantly as he gets out of bed. "But you better not be lying to me right now."

"I'm not, I swear" I promise.

"What should I do?" he asks.

"Sneak out ahead of me, and get caught on purpose."

"You know" he sighs. "I _just _got Taylor to stop being pissed at me."

"He'll get over this too" I reply. "Come on, let's go!"

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I narrowly escape unnoticed, and walk a great distance before calling a cab. I learned my lesson last time about driving my car.

When the cab driver finally gets to the address my heart sinks in my chest. It's the picture of domesticity. A white picket fence, a welcome mat, my God there's even a swing in the backyard. Does he have children? It would have said that in the background check- right? Maybe this really is a bogus address; maybe the whole thing was a lie.

What the hell am I going to do? I can't ring the doorbell at 3 in the morning, even if this is Howard's house. What if he is married and his wife answers the door? She'll hate me. I've been sleeping with her husband. I'm the _other woman_.

I take my cellphone out of my pocket and dial his number.

"Howard?" I ask shakily.

"Phoebe, baby, thank God. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I answer.

"Where are you?" he asks urgently.

"That's the thing" I say with a forced chuckle. "I think I might be standing in front of your house."

"What?" he gasps.

"Are you married?" I ask.

"Phoebe, what are you talking about?"

"My father ran a background check on you" I say as my voice breaks.

"That must have been confusing" he says sympathetically.

I see the door to his house open and he walks out.

"Come on in, I'll explain everything."

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	6. Chapter 6

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asks as he takes my jacket.

"I'm fine" I answer as I take a seat on his couch.

"Wait a minute" he says as he runs over to his kitchen. He returns after a moment and hands me a glass of wine. "This will relax you; you've had a long day."

This is what I love about Howard, he cares about me, and he treats me like an adult, not a little girl. I feel so grown up when I'm with him, so sophisticated.

"Thank you" I smile. "I probably shouldn't stay too long. My father will be looking for me."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere" Howard says as he places his hand on my knee. "It's dark out Phoebe, it isn't safe. How did you get here anyway?"

"I took a cab."

"From where?"

"A street a few blocks from my house."

"I don't like hearing about you walking alone, outside, at night. You could have called me, I would have picked you up."

"Howard" I interrupt. "I don't want to talk about how I got here. I want to talk about your wife."

"It isn't what you think" he says defensively.

"Okay" I reply. "Then what is it?"

"Vicky and I are still legally married, but we haven't been together Phoebe, not for a long time, I promise you sweetheart."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly.

"Because I didn't want you to feel worse about this than you already do. I know our relationship has been confusing for you. It's your first real adult relationship and it's been pretty intense. I didn't want you to have to worry about all this nonsense on top of it all."

"Do you still love her?"

"No" he scoffs. "No, baby, no. There's no other woman for me. There hasn't been since I read your poem and discovered what a special girl you are."

"But you used to?" I ask hoping to get more information. "You used to be in love with her- Vicky."

"Yes" he admits. "We fell in love in high school. We had it all, we were even the homecoming king and queen. We stayed together through college, and then got married."

"So what happened?" I ask shakily.

"Vicky couldn't get pregnant. I was okay with never having children, but it devastated her. She slowly grew further and further away from me, and she became addicted to painkillers. Before I knew it I was in a cold, loveless marriage. That wasn't what I wanted. She wasn't what I wanted anymore. She lives in Tacoma now with her new boyfriend. I haven't even thought of her in ages."

"Well then what have you thought of?" I ask.

"You" he smiles. "My beautiful Phoebe."

"My father plans on getting you fired" I say with a look of concern on my face.

"I already resigned" he replies.

"Why?" I gasp.

"To avoid the scandal Phoebe, it's okay. I knew the risk I was taking when I started seeing you. You don't have to feel bad about this."

"My father is going to make you pay. He'll find some way. He's going to make your life a living hell, especially if we keep seeing each other."

"The only way he could make my life a living hell would be if he took you from me" he says softly. "Drink some more" he says refilling my wine glass. "You're so tense."

I take another sip.

"I should really probably go" I say nervously. "My father will be looking for me. He has your address."

"We'll deal with that if that happens" he says dismissively. "You've been through a lot tonight; do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm just embarrassed I guess" I say as I take another sip of wine. "And I'm worried."

"Worried about what?" he asks concerned.

"You" I answer. "Howard, I don't think you understand how intense my father can be."

"Oh I understand" he scoffs. "I met the man earlier tonight, remember?"

"I'm trying to forget" I reply.

"I was so worried about you" he says as he brushes a strand of hair out of my face. "That man is clearly unstable, I felt so wrong letting you leave with him."

"My father would never hurt me" I argue. "You however-"

"I'm not afraid of him" he says as he refills my wine glass. I'm not used to drinking, and I'm already feeling light headed. But I don't want to let Howard know how in over my head I feel so I take another sip.

"I just don't want you to get hurt" I say as I fight tears.

"You are so sweet" he says as he slips my shoes off and puts my feet on his lap.

"I- I should probably leave soon" I say growing more and more nervous about my father showing up.

"You've had too much to drink" he argues. "You need to stay here."

"But-"

"Relax" he says as he begins to rub my feet.

"I feel a little funny" I say as I relax into the couch.

"You're fine sweetie" he chuckles. "You're just a little tipsy, it will feel good."

With each rub of my foot, he continues to venture further and further up until he is reaching under the material of my jeans.

"Your skin is so soft" he moans. I know I was worried about something a few minutes ago, but now I'm having trouble remembering what it was.

I sit up and lean so I can kiss him, but fall over. "It's okay" he chuckles as he leans in to kiss me. It intensifies quickly, before I can fully process what is going on, he has me on my back and he's kissing my neck.

We are quickly interrupted by a loud sound.

"What was that?" I ask as I struggle to sit up.

Before Howard can answer there's another loud noise. Suddenly, the door flings open.

"I thought I told you to stay away from my daughter!" my father shouts as he grabs Howard by the shirt and pushes him against the wall.

"Don't hurt him" I beg as I struggle to stand. I feel dizzy and my limbs feel wobbly.

"Phoebe?" Taylor asks as he runs over to me and steadies me by grabbing my arms with his hands. "What's going on?"

"I'm fine, I just feel a little funny."

He picks up my wine glass and sniffs it.

"Did you drink this?" he asks me urgently.

"Yeah" I answer honestly.

"You got my daughter drunk!?" my father screams in Howard's face.

"No, I'm not drunk" I argue confused.

"How much did you have to drink?" Taylor asks me.

"I- I don't really remember" I say as I start to cry.

"It's okay Phoebe" Howard says softly.

"Shut the fuck up" my father shouts

"Phoebe look at me" Taylor says.

I humor him and look into his eyes.

"Did you take any drugs?"

"No" I scoff, "of course not."

"Did you put something in her drink?" he asks turning to Howard.

Howard says nothing.

"You had better answer him you bastard!" my father yells.

"No, no, no" I say as my speech starts to slur. "He n-never would do th-that" I cry.

"We should get her checked out" Taylor says to my father softly.

I start to feel dizzy again. I'm surprised to see my father has let go of Howard, he's walking over to me. He reaches out, pulls me into his arms, and starts to carry me. He hasn't carried me like this since I was a little girl. "There, there" he whispers in my ear. "You're okay now sweetheart, daddy's got you."

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	7. Chapter 7

I wake up in an unfamiliar room, and I feel so sick. I look around to gather my surroundings and find my younger brother staring at me disapprovingly.

"Hey" I say shakily as I struggle to sit up.

"What the hell Phoebe?" he hisses angrily. "You ran off to go see some creepy old guy?"

"He isn't creepy" I argue as I try to piece together what has happened "What is going on?"

He sits next to me and sighs. "You know Phoebe, for a smart girl you sure can be stupid. You could have gotten yourself killed, you know that?"

"What?" I scoff. "No, Howard would never hurt me."

"Really? Because he tried to rape you."

"No he didn't, who told you that?" I ask angrily.

"Why the hell else would he roofie your drink?"

"Roo- but, no" I say as I struggle to catch my breath.

"Listen, I know you're a sweet girl, but not everyone is like you. Not everyone has good intentions, you have to be more careful with yourself. I know I don't get all touchy-feely with you too often, but if anything happened to you…" he stops for a minute and clears his throat. Oh my God, is he about to cry? "It would kill me Phoebe, and it would kill mom, and, dad, and Ted, so don't be so damn selfish!"

"Howard wouldn't hurt me" I repeat.

"Damn it Phoebe!" he curses. "Don't you get it? He had every intention of hurting you. He would have if dad and Taylor didn't show up when they did."

"He didn't drug me. It doesn't make any sense!" I snap

"If you were unconscious he could take advantage of you easier" he explains as if I don't understand the concept of date rape.

"No, Sebastian, it doesn't make any sense because I would have slept with him anyway!"

"What?" he scoffs. "No, that isn't true."

"Sebastian" I hear my father's voice say as the door to my hospital room opens. "I'd like a minute alone with your sister."

Shit. I'm in trouble.

"Okay" Sebastian says shakily as he kisses the top of my head. "See you Pheebs."

"See you" I nod with a smile.

"How are you doing?" my father asks as he sits in the chair next to my bed.

"Alright" I answer dryly. "I- I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" he asks as he leans back into the chair.

"Scaring you" I answer. "For drinking, for-"

"For what?"

"For everything" I shrug. "I've disappointed you."

He stares into the distance as if he doesn't know what to say. It seems like I've only upset him more.

"Is it true?" I ask as my voice breaks. "Did Howard drug me?"

"Yes" my father answers gently as he takes my hand.

"But… why?" I ask hoping he has answers.

"There are some people in the world that are just sick honey. They like to take advantage of people."

"But, he loves me" I reply confused.

"No he doesn't sweetheart" he yells angrily. As mad as he is, I still get the sense that he's holding back. He pauses for a moment and then lowers his voice significantly "He doesn't love you. He's preyed on you, he's confused you."

My instinct is still defend him, but if he really did drug me, how messed up is that? How could have done this to me? Why did he do this to me? It just doesn't make sense. I love him. I thought he loved me. I risked everything for him, I've disappointed my entire family and I was even willing to put Yale off for him. Could he really have hurt me like that? Could I have really spent so much time with a man capable of… of well, whatever he was planning to do?

"I've screwed up everything" I say as I start to cry. "Everything's ruined now."

"No" my father says softly as he wraps me in a hug. "No sweetheart, you haven't ruined anything. Everything's alright, you're okay now."

"What's going to happen now?" I ask shakily.

"You have to stay here overnight" he explains softly as he returns to his seat. "And in the morning you have an appointment."

"What kind of appointment?" I ask nervously.

"His name is Dr. Flynn, I know him well, he's going to help you sort through some of this."

"You're sending me to a shrink?" I gasp.

"He's a therapist yes."

"Dad, please don't make me do this!" I beg. "I know that this is all screwed up, but I'm not crazy, I swear, I'm not!"

"Phoebe, I don't think you're crazy" my father says as he runs his hands through his hair. "I'm just trying to help you sweetheart."

There's a long silence between the two of us before I finally speak again.

"What's going to happen to Howard?"

"Nothing good" he mutters angrily.

"Is he- is he going to jail for this?"

"At least " he responds angrily. He looks at me again and his gaze softens. "Don't worry about that right now, you need some rest you look exhausted."

"Thank you daddy" I say weakly.

"Hey" he says softly. "It's going to be okay Phoebe, really."

His words are comforting, but I have no idea if he's right. I feel like my whole life has unraveled in a matter of hours. My whole family knows about the affair. My God, what must they think of me? They were so proud of me when I graduated, and now? And Howard _drugged_ me. How could he have done that? What if it's all been a lie- what he's said about his wife, what he's said about his feelings for me? Did he ever love me? I love him. I still do. I gave myself to him, in more ways than one. I trusted him with my body, with my heart. Sebastian is right, I am stupid. God, am I stupid. I've ruined everything. My father hasn't looked at me the same since he found me in that hotel room, I haven't even seen my mother since she found out about all of this, and both of my brothers are furious at me- and disgusted. I'm disgusted with myself. I knew it would be bad when the shit finally hit the fan, but I thought I'd feel relieved in a way. I thought it would feel good to end all of the lies and the deceit, but I would do anything if I could just go back in time and stop my family from finding out the truth.

I get out of my bed and stare out the window. The sun rise is beautiful, it reminds me of that damn poem I wrote, it reminds me of Howard. I open it and feel the cool air on my skin. I shudder and rub my arms together. I feel so cold, I feel so alone. I lean forward so I'm leaning against the window frame and take a deep breath. I look down and see all the traffic below. Even this early in the morning, Seattle is all about the hustle and bustle. I wonder where all those people are going? I wonder if any of them feel anything like I do right now?

"Phoebe!" I hear a familiar voice gasp. "What the hell are you doing?"

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	8. Chapter 8

"Mom?" I ask shakily.

"Close the window" she scolds as she makes her way over to me. "It's freezing out." She puts her hand on my face. "God sweetheart, you're so cold" she says softly. "Let's get you back under the covers."

"Mommy" I say softly as my voice starts to break. Finally, my mom. I want so badly to talk to my mom. I know she'll make me feel better. She always makes everything better.

"Shh" she says softly as she pulls the chair closer to the bed. "I'm right here honey, get under the covers."

I lie back down and turn to look at her. "I- I'm sorry" I cry.

"Oh, baby girl" she replies as she brushes the tears out of my face. "It's okay honey."

"No it isn't, I've ruined everything."

"You haven't ruined anything sweetheart."

"You and dad must be so disappointed."

"Of our beautiful, smart, sweet Valedictorian? Never."

"Mommy, I lied to you, I snuck out, I drank-"

"You screwed up" she nods. "But we are _not _disappointed in you."

"Daddy is furious" I argue. "He can't even look at me."

"Your father is very upset, this is bringing up a lot of issues from his past."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing" she answers quickly as if she's trying to cover for herself. "Your father had a tough childhood before Grace and Carrick adopted him you know that."

"What does that have to do with me and Howard?"

"Your father has tried really hard to protect you and your brother from the type of people that would hurt you like this honey."

It still seems so weird to hear Howard described that way, as the type of person that would hurt me. He was so gentle, so sweet, so loving. I thought he'd never hurt me, but he drugged me. Why would he do that unless he was going to- God, I can't even think about that.

"I knew what I was doing was wrong" I admit. "I did it anyway. I just got lost in it, I felt so in over my head-"

"Shh, shh, shh" she says as she strokes my face. "You don't need to explain all that right now. You have plenty of time to do that, plenty of time to figure this out. For right now just relax."

"Daddy said he's sending me to a shrink today?" I ask shakily.

"We've scheduled an appointment for you, yes" she says softly.

"You think I'm crazy?"

"No, no sweetie, no. We aren't sending you because we think you're crazy. I'm sure you have a lot of feelings about all of this- wouldn't you like someone to talk to? Someone who could help you sort all of this out?"

"I don't feel like I'll ever sort this out, mom. I feel so lost."

"I know baby girl" she says sympathetically. "It's going to get better from here, I promise."

"When can I get out of here?" I ask looking around.

"They ran another test on you this morning just to make sure everything was out of your system. It's going to take another hour. After that you can leave."

I nod.

"Why don't you try to get a little more sleep ?" she says softly. "I'll come back to get you when it's time to leave."

"Okay" I reply as I close my eyes. "I love you mommy."

"Oh" she sighs. "I love you too baby girl."

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I awake from my nap and assume that it must be time to leave soon. I open my door, and to my surprise there isn't a guard stationed immediately outside my door.

I walk about a foot away and notice my parents sitting on a couch in the waiting area together holding hands.

There facing away from me so they can't see me, but I can hear them talking. They're talking about me.

"She's devastated Christian. She thinks that you're ashamed of her."

"I'm not" he gasps.

"I know that, but she doesn't. I really think you should tell her about Elena."

There's that name again. Who is Elena, what are they talking about?

"No. God, no Ana. I thought we decided to never tell our kids about my fucked up past."

"That was before the same thing happened to one of them."

Wait a minute, the same thing? Dad had an affair with one of his teachers? What?

"She's confused just like you were, she feels guilty just like you did. It might help put some things in perspective for her."

"I do anything to help her right now, but I'm not sure this will help. What if it makes it worse?"

"Phoebe?" Taylor asks. "What are you doing out of your room?"

My parents quickly turn to gaze at me and I know they must know that I heard them talking.

"I just-" I try to come up with an explanation, but all that comes out is a shaky whimper.

The same horrified look that my father had on his face when he found me and Howard in the hotel room returns.

"I thought it'd be time to go soon" I explain. "I'm sorry, I'll go back-"

"No Phoebe" my dad says softly as he walks over to me and takes my hand. "It's okay sweetheart I want to talk to you," he looks at my mother for confirmation and she nods. "There's something I think you should know."

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	9. Chapter 9

"What did you want to talk to me about" I ask my father shakily as he helps me back into my hospital room.

"Sit down sweetie" he says sternly as he runs his hands through his hair and stares off into the distance. He pulls a chair close to my bed and sits silent for a long time.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly.

"Yes" he says as he clears his throat. "It's just- I never planned on telling you about any of this."

"Any of what?"

"You're mother says that you think I'm ashamed of you" he says weakly.

"Well aren't you?" I ask as I roll my eyes.

"No" he answers adamantly. "I'm angry, I wished none of this ever happened, but I could never be ashamed of you."

"But what I did was-"

"What he did" he interrupts as he places his hand on mine. "He did it Phoebe, it's going to take you some time to learn that though…"

"What are you talking about?" I snap. "You keep being all cryptic, I have no idea what you're talking about. And what you and mom were talking about in the waiting room-"

"I understand what you're going through Phoebe."

"That means a lot to me" I nod.

"I understand what you're going through, because I've been through it myself."

So it's true. My dad did have an affair with one of his teachers.

"You slept with a teacher?" I ask awkwardly.

"No" he says as he clears his throat. "She wasn't my teacher Phoebe, she was my mother's friend."

Holy crap. I'm not really sure what to say…

"The only reason I'm saying any of this is because I don't want you to feel like you're alone. I don't want you to feel like this has damaged you or anything like that" he mutters. "I felt that way for a long time, and I don't want that for you sweetheart."

"I don't feel damaged" I answer shaking my head. "I just feel… stupid. I feel so incredibly stupid. I mean not only did I have an affair with an older man, but if you and Taylor hadn't gotten there-"

"Don't go there" my father interrupts. "Thinking about that makes me want to track down the son of a bitch, and-"

"Do you think… never mind."

"What is it?" he asks urgently.

"What if that wasn't the first time he drugged me?"

"What are you saying?" my father asks as his eyes widen.

"I just mean- If he could do it once…"

"You think he-"

"I don't know" I shrug.

"Do you remember anything?"

"No, I mean. Not really, but there were a few times when-"

"When what?" he asks frantically as tears form in his eyes.

"I don't know, I'd wake up the next morning and not really remember-"

"No" he gasps as he covers his face with his hands.

"Do you think he-" I can't finish my sentence, my voice is shaky, and I feel so embarrassed, so stupid… "I just always told myself he could never do something like that" I explain. "He was always so nice to me, I didn't think that-"

"Shhh" my father says softly as he wraps me in a tight hug. "Don't worry about any of this, I'm going to fix it."

Fix it? What does that mean?

"You should get dressed" he says in a cold voice as he clears his throat. "You're appointment is only in an hour."

"The hospital released me?" I ask as I stand to my feet.

"No, but there's only a little bit of paperwork left to fill out. I wouldn't be surprised if your mother has already finished it."

"Okay" I nod as I stare at the floor.

"Phoebe" my father says as he tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him.

"It's going to be okay now sweetheart, really."

I respond with a strained smile and watch him leave.

"Oh my God" I gasp as I sit on my bed and start to sob. I think a small part of me has always known what happened, I've just been in denial for so long and now…. He raped me. He _raped _me. All of this is so screwed up. This never should have happened. I never should have let any of this happen. My father says he understands, but really, how could he? How could anyone understand this, _I_ don't even understand this. I loved him, a part of me still does. This is just all so new, I'm in shock. And now my father is bringing me to some type of shrink, and I'm going to have to tell him about all this shit. I don't even have it all sorted out in my head yet, how the hell am I going to explain it to a stranger? I mean, my God, what is this man going to think about me? What kind of girl sleeps with a man that could…

I peak out my door and see my father talking to my mother. She's rubbing his arm comfortingly and their both crying. I've never seen my father like this. What the hell have I done to him?

I quickly turn around and look at the clothes my mother brought for me from the house. I'm glad she brought a hoodie. I want to cover up, I want to hide. I get dressed and pull the hoodie close. It looks like my parents are still dealing with the paperwork so I flip the tv on.

There's some sort of breaking news piece on every station. I have no idea what has happened, but it must be something big. I see the picture flash on the screen and my heart stops. It's Howard. Is this about… But how do they know? Oh my God, everyone's going to know. Everyone's going to know what I did, Everyone's going to know what he did.

I turn the volume off mute and listen to what the announcer is saying.

"_So far there are no suspects"_

Suspects?

"_Right now, we're going to go to the victim's wife."_

Victim?

"_He was such a gentle, sweet man, I have no idea who would want to hurt him."_

"Hurt him?" someone hurt Howard. Oh shit, was it my dad?

"_One thing's for sure English teacher Howard Cheney was a valued member of the community and will be sorely missed."_

What? Missed… It suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. He's dead. Howard's dead. My Howard. Someone killed him, but no…

It's all too much to handle. It's too much. Too much has happened, I feel like I can't breathe. I try to focus on breathing, but it seems like the harder I think about it the harder it is to catch my breath. I feel dizzy, and before I know what's happening I'm falling to the floor. My fall is followed by a loud thud, and my father is in the room within seconds.

"Phoebe, sweetie? Honey? Can you hear me? Ana, get a damn doctor in here now!"

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	10. Chapter 10

"Phoebe!" I hear my father continue to scream as he pulls me into his lap. "Phoebe, can you talk to me honey?"

"Daddy?" I ask shakily.

"Yes honey, yes" he answers as his voice starts to break. "It's your daddy. I'm right here. You're okay now."

"He- he's dead" I say weakly.

"What?" he asks as he brushes a strand of hair away from my face.

"He's dead" I repeat.

"Who's dead sweetheart?"

"Howard" I answer.

"I wish" he scoffs. "You're just confused Phoebe. It's okay, you've been through so much, and you're probably still groggy, and you just hit your head-"

"No" I protest as I sit up and begin to gather my wits. "It was on the news, he's dead. Someone killed him."

"What?" he gasps as he stands up and turns it on. "Oh my God" he whispers after a second. "It's true."

"It's terrible" I say as I fight tears.

"I wish I could say I was sorry" he mutters.

"Did you do it?" I ask as I choke back a sob.

"What?" he gapes. "No, of course not. I'm not going to lie, I'm glad the fucker is dead, but I'd never- Phoebe, you don't really think that do you?"

"I- I don't know" I cry. "No, I guess not, buy who would-"

"The doctor is coming" my mom yells running into the room. "Phoebe, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I answer as I try to stand to my feet but fall over.

"Whoa" my father says as he catches me. "Let's get you back in bed."

"What is going on?" my mother asks softly as she pulls the blanket over me.

"Howard's dead" I say coldly.

"What happened?" my mother gasos.

"He was murdered."

"Oh baby" she says as she wraps me in a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" my father scoffs.

"Because Phoebe had deep feelings for him; this has to be very confusing for her."

"He got what he deserved" he says as he stares off into the distance.

I look my father warily. I want to believe that he couldn't do this, but he was so angry. He easily could have hired someone to kill Howard. But he's my dad, he wouldn't do that.

"What's going on in here?" the ER doctor asks as he approaches the bed.

"She passed out" my father explains. "She fell and hit her head."

"Okay" the doctor says calmly as he turns to me. "I'll have to examine you again."

"Okay" I answer nervously.

"If you two could give us a minute-" the doctor says turning to my parents.

"Do we need to leave?" my father asks as he runs his hands through his hair.

"It will only take a few moments" he responds reassuringly.

"Come on Christian" my mother says as she begins to tug on his arm.

She practically has to drag him out of the room, and when he turns to look at me again I can see the worry etched on his face.

"Can you follow my finger with your eyes?" the doctor asks as he wiggles his index finger in front of my face.

I do as I'm told and by his response I can tell that I've done alright.

"Do you feel nauseated?" the doctor asks as he checks my pulse.

"A little" I answer honestly. "But I don't think it's from hitting my head- I just got some bad news."

"It doesn't seem to me like you have a concussion, you should still be okay to be released. But if any other symptoms present themselves, or your nausea gets worse I want you to come back, alright?"

I nod and smile at him. "Thank you" I say softly.

"You're very welcome Ms. Grey" he smiles back. "I hope you feel better."

Not two seconds later my parents are back in the room. "What did he say?" my father asks anxiously.

"He said I'm fine" I shrug. "I can leave."

"I'll call Flynn and tell him we'll be a few minutes late" my father says as he pulls his blackberry out of his back pocket.

"Really?" I snap. "After this- you're still dragging me to the shrink?"

"This is to help you" my father says.

"I don't want help, I just want to go home" I cry as I start to break down.

"Shh" my mother says gently as she hugs me. "Just give it a try Phoebe, if you don't like it you don't have to go back."

I wipe the tears from my face and try to gather my thoughts. God, how did this happen? How did everything go to crap so quickly?

"Okay" I mutter as I struggle to stand to my feet. My father quickly runs over to assist me.

"You're sure the doctor said it was okay for you to leave?" my dad asks.

"Yes, he said I'm fine."

"I'll have the nurse get us a wheelchair" my mother says running out of the room.

I stare off into the distance and try to catch my breath. "You okay?" I ask turning to my father.

"I'm fine sweetheart" he answers as he places his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about me."

We're interrupted by the sound of his blackberry ringing and as he looks at it his eyes widen. "I need to get this" he says nervously as he walks into the hall. Normally I'd assume that this cryptic call had something to do with his business, and I wouldn't give it a second thought. But what if this has to do with Howard?

I listen at the door and try to make out what he is saying.

"What!? Are you sure…. Oh God, we need to cover this up. I'll be damned if this bastard is going to ruin two of my kid's lives."

What? What does that mean? Oh my God! Oh my God! Ted.

My mind goes back to the conversation we had when I told him about me and Howard.

_"And you said dad_ _didn't_ _kill the bastard?"_

_"No" I answer._

_"Oh my God" he gasps as he walks out of my room._

_"Ted, where do you think you're going?" I ask as I chase after him._

_"Where the hell do you think I'm going Phoebe? I'm going to find the man that hurt my little sister!"_

_"He didn't hurt me" I argue. "Ted, don't do anything stupid!"_

_"What is going on here?" my father asks running over to us._

_"You're going to let this guy get away with this?" Ted scoffs._

_"Of course not!" my father bites back harshly. "Theodore, let me handle this! I'm going to see to it that he pays."_

_"You better, or I will!" _

Oh God, he didn't. He couldn't have. Teddy isn't capable of… murder. Maybe it's a misunderstanding, it has to be. I couldn't live with myself if Ted did this because of me.

I run over to the window, open it, and take a deep breath.

This can't be happening. Too much has already happened, the past 48 hours have been a living nightmare, it can't be getting worse. It can't be. I won't be able to handle any more. It's too much. It's just all too much.

**Please Review!**

**I know I haven't gotten a tremendous amount of reviews on this story- but the ones I have gotten have been awesome! I _love_ getting long reviews and I've gotten plenty on this story :)Thanks so much for your support, complements, critiques, and even personal stories. I have really enjoyed reading everything y'all have had to say, and I look forward to reading more! A special thanks to those who have reviewed every chapter or almost every chapter. I don't want to give away too much about what's coming up next, but I will say that Flynn will be a crucial character from next chapter on. I hope you enjoy this chapter and future chapters. Thanks so much for your support!**


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